


Watching a Queen Fall

by EmDee8907



Category: La Reina del Sur (TV), Queen of the South (TV)
Genre: Betrayal, Broken Beyond Repair, Could be a happy ending, F/M, Locked Emotions, Sad, Season 4 My Way, Self-Destruction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-08 16:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15934370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmDee8907/pseuds/EmDee8907
Summary: He betrayed her in the worst way possible. Can she ever forgive him before it's too late? Follow the story as we watch our Queen fall, and see who can pick her back up. Starts out sad then gravitates to a happy ending. Its a long journey back to eachother. Totally Jeresa.





	1. Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a lot of this yesterday after seeing the clip with James standing next to Teresa about to shoot Camila. This thought popped up in my head. and with my mood the last few days its was pretty fitting to write. And I wanted to write something with Javier, because that man is fine as hell. 
> 
> I am going 100% on taking a chance on posting this, I know some may not read it but thats ok, as long as its out there, it means I accomplished something. 
> 
> This is completely unbeta-ed and it someone wants to take on the task let me know. 
> 
> I would like to make it clear I am 100% Team Jeresa, but I wanted to do something out of the box, and with our QOTS writers anything can happen. 
> 
> This first chapter is a taste, dipping my toes in the pool if you will, to see how its going to go over. 
> 
> Onto the fic....

James was pulling up to the compound when he saw Teresa waiting outside with Pote. She looked all business. He parks the truck and knew Camila was walking into the firing squad, and he didn't know how he felt about that.

He watches as Camila gets out, not showing one ounce of emotion or fear, she walked right up to Teresa. James got out and walks to the side of Teresa.

“Hello Teresa.”

“You set me up. You were never going to let Reynaldo supply me. I should have never believed you. You have taken so much away from me!” She grabs the gun from Pote pointing it right at Camila’s chest.

“I can help you get your business back on track.”

“Like I’m going to believe you ever again.”

Pote speaks up, “Teresa if you don't end her now she will come after you again.”

Teresa nods her head; she goes to cock the gun, when she hears James at her side. “Teresa, don't do it, be better than her.”

Teresa shakes her head, “No!”

She goes to pull the trigger when she hears a gun cock to her side, she looks out of the side of her eye and see its James and his gun was pointed at...her?

She doesn't take her full attention off Camila though, she turns to James and her heart stops. She can see the thoughts battling his mind, “Put the gun down, I don't want to hurt you.”

Teresa turns to end Camila once and for all when she feels an excruciating pain in her right shoulder. She drops the gun going down. Pote reacted and jumped in front of Teresa shielding her. She watches as James guides Camila to his Jeep speeding out of there.

Teresa still on the ground is stunned…. Heartbroken…. Shattered. He chose Camila, over her.

Pote picks her up; she is in shock as he carries her into the house yelling for someone to get him some towels. He is holding her shoulder trying to prevent the blood from coming out. She didn't say a word, she was numb. He betrayed her; she didn't even feel Pote helping her out of her shirt, covering her for modesty as he extracts the bullet, dropping it on the tray. He tries talking to her but she doesn't say anything. She just breaks down completely and it wasn't from the pain.

She sees Charger come in checking to make sure everything was ok. Pote helps her to her bed, giving her a mild sedative to help her sleep.

He walks downstairs, cursing James Valdez’ name in vain. He made sure to tell everyone to be on high alert at all times.  
~~~~~

James was speeding down the road, his way out of Arizona lost in his thoughts, he chose Camila over Teresa. He couldn't help but have Camila’s voice in his head as he was standing there. She promised him if he helped her escape she would make him a partner. He didn't want to listen to her, he tried shutting out her voice but as he stood next to Teresa pointing the gun at Camila, he tried to reason with her. To let Camila go, but Teresa was determined to end her. He didn't even realize he was pulling his gun on her until he saw Teresa ignored his pleas and was going to shoot Camila. He came back to it just as he pulled the trigger, he couldn't kill Teresa, but he had no choice. He let Camila get to him and he betrayed the only woman he ever loved. There was no going back from that, she would never forgive him.

Camila noticed the quietness in the car so she spoke up, smiling. “You did the right thing James.”

“Just make sure you honor your deal. I help you and you never bother Teresa again, and you make me a partner.”

“I keep my word.”

James nods his head turning off all his emotions, it was time to return to the enforcer he once was before Teresa.


	2. Burn it Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have decided to finish this one out, my biggesy pet peeve...leaving things unfinished. Anyone that knows me and my writing knows that this will be a Jeresa fic, and I understand if this isnt everyones cup of tea, thats ok. No hard feelings. 
> 
> I will be posting another fic that is completed, its a multip chapter and its called "A Little Jealousy Could Be A Good Thing".
> 
> Well onto chapter 2, its not very long, but its very emotional.

Even though Pote gave her something to help her relax, she couldn't. James really shot her. She didn't know what hurt the most? Getting shot by him, or having him choose Camila over her. She must have cried for hours, he betrayed her. He swore he never would. She knew they were on shaky ground but she thought when everything was over, when she put the final nail into Camila, they could get away and talk. She couldn't sleep, she was in so much pain and it wasn't from the gunshot. She got up walking over to the window. Just lost in thought.

She had to leave this place, leave Arizona. There were too many memories here. Too much that will remind her of him. She goes to her closet and pulls out a couple duffle bags, she starts filling them as quick as she can with her shoulder.

She comes across a couple of pictures, of her and James, and one with them and Pote. She picks them up walking into the bathroom grabbing the metal trash can. She was going to just throw them out when she had a better idea; she set the pictures down on the counter going to find the book of matches she usually kept in her drawer. She locates them and walks back to the bathroom. She sits on the edge of the tub, dropping the pictures in and lighting a match. She tosses it down and watches as the photos disappear into ash in a matter of seconds. She sets the can down watching the flames destroy every trace of him. She vowed never to let another person in her heart. She wipes away the tears away, she surely would never cry over another man. As she watched the flames die down she got an idea.

She hears a knock on the door and sees Pote walk in. “You all right? I smelled smoke.”

Teresa nods her head showing no emotion, “I’m fine, just getting rid of some things.”

Pote walks into the bathroom seeing the smoldering trash can, he takes and sticks it in the shower turning it on. He sighs deeply, “Teresita….”

Teresa cuts him off, “We are leaving here, pack what you need.”

Pote nods his head, knowing it wasn't going to do any good to talk to her. “Of course, La Jefa.”

He walks out of her room closing the door telling the other men to get ready to leave.

Teresa walked back into her room to finish packing. She kept getting flashes of James, the day she woke up next to him sound asleep, just watching him look so at peace. The time he came to her room and told her that Phoenix was theirs, and flashes of the day she woke up in his arms for the first time, feeling so loved. She shakes her head clearing those thoughts away. No more. No more emotions, she would never show that part of herself ever again. She finishes packing and grabs her bags walking downstairs setting them on the couch.

She sees Pote coming out of his room a couple bags of his own.

“I'm going to need gasoline, a lot of it.”

Pote sighs knowing what she is thinking, “Teresa….”

“Just do it Pote.” She orders.

He doesn't say anything he just walks outside sending Charger to get the gasoline.

Teresa stands in the kitchen wishing she had some coke on her right about now. It would make her forget everything, at least for awhile. Instead she reaches for the bottle of Rum sitting on the counter, not even bothering with a glass she unscrews the cap and takes a few deep pulls from the bottle. She sits at the counter waiting for someone to bring her the gas.

She manages to down a good portion of the bottle when she hears Pote return.

“What you requested is here.”

Teresa stands up walking into the living room and sees about six 5 gallon gas cans.

“Take the bags to the car, and make sure to get any cash or product we have here.”

Pote nods his head doing as she says.

Teresa picks up two of the gas cans and walks upstairs she starts from the top standing in the sitting room. Where they shared so many memories, the first time they kissed, the first time they had made love. The countless conversations they had there. She uncaps the gas and gets a whiff of the strong fuel, she starts a trail from the balcony moving into the room creating a trail leading out of the room and she moves onto the other rooms of the house. She opens her door to her room dousing the entire room. She picks up the other can and moves to James’ room, she pushes the door open and the kiss they shared after she got back from Bolivia assault her thoughts. She shakes her head, making sure to cover the entire room. Teresa had the entire top floors done and she ran out of gas. She walked back down grabbing another can and starting on the patio and pool area and the kitchen. She felt the fumes getting to her, but she shook it off saturating the entire house. Teresa finishes downstairs and walks outside taking in much needed gulps of fresh air. She sees Pote leaning against his truck smoking a cigarette.

“Everything is packed; Charger and a couple of guys will be in the SUV following, what are we going to do about the winery?”

“Leave it; there is nothing there that can tie back to us.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Far away from here.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Pote nods his head; he tries to take a puff from his cigarette when Teresa grabs it from him. She walks over to the open the front door, smelling the fumes. She doesn't even hesitate; she just tosses the cigarette in watching as it spreads a trail of fire in a matter of seconds. She turns her back, hearing the windows shatter, getting in the truck. Pote eases out of the driveway slowly as she watches from the rearview mirror as the flames engulf the entire house. Ridding her of every memory of him.


	3. Time Jump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see just how bad James' actions effected Teresa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started this I was still reeling from 3-12 and figured not many would read it, thats ok if you know my writing by now there will be a happy ending. It will just take a while. 
> 
> So those that comment, view, kudos, thank you!!!
> 
> I diddnt have any of this beta-ed but I did check it in MS office. 
> 
> Onto the fic...

6 Months later

Pote sighed as he watched Teresa’s meeting with Boaz and Javier. Boaz and her where practically having a competition on who could do the most coke. He hated seeing her like this, she showed no emotion, she made it to the top, but at the cost of her soul. He stood on guard in the most exquisite Chicago nightclub. They had migrated their way back and Teresa forced her way to the top. She took out Devon Finch and everyone associated with him herself. Not showing one ounce of remorse. She just pulled the trigger and set up shop the very next day.

He wanted to help her, but he vowed to never question her again. So he had to stand and watch a little piece of her life slip away every day. He hated she turned back to coke. It wasn't even just a few bumps to get you through the day, no it was 3 or four ounces and sometime it was more than that. She looked pale, skinner, like a zombie at times.

He watched as she took the shot glass from Javier that he offered, he has been sticking around Chicago a lot more and not just because of the business. No he knew what he and Teresa did at night. He knew about all her escapades, she used them then tossed them aside. All but Javier, he stayed, coming back for more. Hoping for more but Teresa she just shut herself from ever feeling that way again. She did what she said she would, she made it to the top, but at what cost?

He never thought that pinche cabrón Valdez could ever take her down. He wanted to hunt him down and bring Teresa his head but she just brushed it off and said he wasn't to be harmed; he would get his in the end.

He took a few more puffs from his cigar, watching them party, they were good partners to Teresa but they were bad influences on her, especially Boaz. Javier was different, he may have been the leader to the Death Squad but when it came to Teresa he looked out for her. Watched over her. He wasn't sure what changed. He knew when they first met all those months ago, Javier had taken a liking to Teresa right away, and when he found out what James did he offered to send him men to find him, but Teresa swept it away telling him the same thing she told him.

He didn't know how much longer she could go on, she survived, but she didn't live. She had him go get Tony and bring him to Chicago, where she told him to train Tony to become a sicario. She broke her vow to Brenda, never putting Tony in danger. He couldn't question her decisions, he just followed her orders.

~~~~~  
James was making a run for Camila; he thought after he split from Teresa, he would finally be a partner and run the business. He was wrong; Camila went back on her word like he should have known she would do. She kept him as her right hand, just like it was before he met Teresa.

Teresa. He thought of her often. He would get in contact with Charger and he would give him some details. He knew that if Teresa found out Charger was spying on her for him; she wouldn't hesitate to kill him. He heard she settled into killing, liking it even. She took down Devon Finch and his sister without a single thought. She wanted Chicago and she wasn't going to let anyone stand in her way. He didn't speak to Charger often but the things he got from him were all because of him. She made it to the top, but at what price?

He found out she destroyed the compound in Phoenix, literally burning it to the ground destroying every trace of him and the life they shared. He couldn't blame her though; he probably would have done the same. She walked away from Arizona all together, still partnered with Taza but she refused to step foot in Phoenix anymore. She didn't do anything to the winery though; she just told Taza if he wanted it, he could have it.

He wished he was as strong as her, to be able to wipe every emotion away, not caring about anyone but yourself. He did that to her, she used to be this loving, caring, compassionate person. Now she was just a shell of the person she once was. He never thought when he showed up in Malta this is how it would end. Him destroying the one person he loved more than life itself.

One night Charger let it slip exactly who was in her life. Javier, the weasel had managed to worm his way into her life and into her bed, Charger didn't keep anything quiet, he never could.

He caught a few pictures of her at some gala or some other and he took in her appearance, he knew she was on coke; he had been around enough addicts in his life to spot the signs. She was entirely too skinny, she looked like walking death and he wondered why Pote didn't put a stop to this and help her.

He often wondered about going back, trying to explain his actions but he knew the only thing waiting for him would be a well deserved bullet. So he stayed. Stayed with Camila. With her promise to stay away from Teresa and to protect him. So he kept the distance, even limiting contact with Charger, because honestly he could bare hearing how much she was drowning, and he couldn't help her.

~~~~  
Teresa was standing out on her balcony of her Chicago mansion; she was wearing a long white silk robe smoking a rolled joint. She usually came out here at this time every night. She looked over her shoulder at Javier getting out of her bed pulling on his boxers making his way over to her. He steps out on the balcony wrapping an arm around her, “You should sleep.”

“I’m not tired.”

“Teresa….”

She knew like every night he was going to try to get her to open up to him.

Javier sighs, “I’m worried about you. You practically live off cocaine. You don't show any type of emotion. When we sleep together you just get out of bed pulling a robe on and coming out here. You don't have to be this way with me; I promise you can trust me. I’m here for you.”

Teresa is assaulted with those same words, said to her a long time ago. With a very different person. She tosses the rest of her joint out.

“I can't give you what you want, it's this or nothing.”

She pulls out of his arms walking back into her room; she bends down scooping up some of the coke that was in a box with the spoon snorting it.

Javier walks over getting dressed, he goes to kiss Teresa but she turns her head. He sighs “I’ll see you later then.”

He walks out of her doors closing it behind him as he hears her snort another spoon of coke.

Teresa sighs; she walks over to her ensuite bathroom filling the tub full of water. She walks to her closet and scans the clothes. Gone were the colorful outfits. Now that lay are all white. Fit for a true Queen.

She grabs some fresh clothes making her way back to the bathroom, she sees her tub is full and undresses submerging herself up to her neck. She couldn't admit the reason she didn't sleep was because every time she closed her eyes she saw him. Of what their life could have been like. If he hadn't of chosen Camilas side. She still loved him, even after all that he did. How messed up was that? She looked for outlets, anything that would make her forget his name and every recollection of what they shared. She grabs the sponge lathering it with soap and running it over her chest, each shoulder blade, across the scar from the bullet. It wasn't her only scar now, no she had her fair share of them, and she would probably have more to add.

She stays in the tub for over an hour, smoking one joint right after the other. She knew she wasn't being fair to Javier. She often wondered when he was going to give up and leave. She had told him months ago that it was just about sex. She couldn't offer anymore than that. But he stayed hoping one day she would open her heart to him. Some days she wanted to, but most days she shrugged it off telling him this was it, take it or leave it. He still stayed, never leaving her side. Just as loyal as Pote was.

She gets out of the tub, and catches herself in the mirror; she was just a skeleton, nothing but skin and bones. She wondered how much longer her body would hold up until it couldn't any longer.

Teresa notes her birthday was coming up in a week. She wondered would she ever see 37? She had enemies everywhere, and Javier and Pote couldn't keep watch over her 24-7.

Teresa gets dressed seeing it was almost 3 in the morning, she walks back over to the coke box spooning out a few lines, snorting them one after the other. This was her routine. Sex, bath, and a lot of coke. So when she finally slipped in bed, she was too unconscious to dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldnt think of anyone else for Teresa to be with besides Javier. He is just too fine and I hope if we get a season 4 they bring him around again. Besides James thats a lot of eye candy and I wont complain one bit lol.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No comments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone who is reading this and sticking with me. I promise there is a method to my madness. 
> 
> All mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Remember Comments/kudos = Love

It was the night before Teresa birthday; she was in the hottest club partying with Boaz and Javier while Pote stayed on guard. The club was shut down and it was invite only. She invited George but he declined citing he couldn't be around her. Not until the Teresa he knew and fell in love with returned. Teresa just said she was sorry he couldn't make it and hung up.

They were sitting on a large wrap around couch where the liquor flowed and the cocaine was passed back and forth like a favorite party favor. Javier hardly ever touched the stuff; he was mainly a big drinker. She knew they were still on the outs, but every night he still came to her. He didn't try again to talk to her about opening up.

She had made a new recent enemy, a 20-Something boy trying to climb the ladder and take her crown. They have tried two times this week trying to eliminate Teresa from the equation. She lost three good men because of it.

Boaz had just stood up to head to the bathroom, leaving her and Javier to talk.

“Happy Birthday.” he holds up a shot glass.

“It’s not my birthday yet.” She bends down to do a couple lines of coke, and she hears Javier sigh, “I wish you would stop that.”

Teresa grabs a shot chasing the coke and sighs, “It’s almost my birthday, and I don't want to argue.”

“Don’t you see what you are doing to yourself? When is the last time you have felt anything real?”

“I’m not getting into this with you again Javi.”

“I know why you don't sleep. It’s because you still see him. Right? He is the last time you felt any emotion besides coldness.”

“I’m not talking about this, I’m not asking you to stay,”

“I want to, but I want the Teresa I first met. The powerful but friendly one. Not the cold and distant shell of the girl I met. I keep trying to wait, wait for you to return to your former self but the day he shot you, you shut down, you locked away your heart. I know you still love him, that when you do sleep it's his name you whisper. I knew what I was getting into when we started all this, I stayed though hoping you would unlock your heart to me. But I know that's not possible.”

“Javi….”

They were too busy to notice the bullet flying in Teresa’s direction from a disguised partier.

Javier watches as one minute Teresa is telling him that this was all she can offer and the next he sees a large red pool of blood coming from her chest, staining her entire white silk tank top. He reacts pulling her down bunching his jacket on her wound, yelling for someone to call 911. He hears another gunshot and looks up to see Pote take down the shooter and was running his way over to help. He hears Boaz at his side telling him they need to get her out of here before the cops come.

He holds his ruined jacket to her chest as he carries her out to the back entrance where they were parked. He sees Pote get behind the wheel speeding for the local hospital. He sits in the back with her draped over his lap applying pressure. “Teresa look at me. No you have to keep your eyes open. Teresa, come on babe stay with me.”

Teresa looks up at Javier weekly saying “I’m sorry.”

He sees her fading fast and yells for Pote to go faster. They pull up to the local ER and see a team of doctors waiting with a stretcher. “She’s been shot.”

They help Javier get her out of the back of the SUV loading her on the bed and rushing to take her to surgery.”

~~~~~~  
Javier and Pote were sitting in the surgery’s waiting area, he had just sent his cousin back to the safe house after informing Javier it was the local enemy, and this was a sicario from Mexico. It had been hours since Teresa was rushed off to the ER. Pote was beside himself, blaming himself, while Javier just sat or paced back and forth, waiting to hear any news. Praying that she makes it out.

Pote speaks up for the first time, “You know this was Camila right? Who else from Mexico would that cabrón work for?”

He knew he was right. He tells Pote he has to make a phone call and walks off for some privacy.  
~~~~

James just got back from a mess of a deal, more people he betrayed for Camila. More people he had to kill. He was covered in blood; he wanted nothing more to do then hop in the shower washing away all his sins. He was just about to undress when his phone rang. He sighed if it was Camila again… He looked at the number and saw it was a Chicago number, but it wasn't Charger’s. “Yeah?”

He hears a familiar voice on the other end, one that oozed of malice and hate. “Tell your boss she almost succeeded, the sicario she sent shot Teresa. He’s dead now, I’m surprised you didn't have the balls to come and do it yourself, or are you too much of a coward?”

James is stunned when he hears Teresa got shot. “Teresa got shot? What are you talking about? Is she okay?” he sounds frantic.

Javier laughs bitterly, “No she is in surgery, she’s fighting for her life!”

James feels his world start to crash down around him. “I had nothing to do with this! Camila gave me her word that if I stayed with her, she would leave Teresa alone.”

“And you see how well that lasted.”

“If she dies, it's on you.” James hears the dial tone. He turns off the shower wiping the blood off him, grabbing some clothes to change into and gets back in his car speeding all the way to Camila’s. He pulls up screeching tires and gets out banging loudly on the door.

He sees Camila appear behind the door, “James…..”

“You lied! You swore to me that as long as I stayed, you would leave her alone!”

Camila smiles a sinister smile, “She was your weakness.”

James was stunned, he grabs Camila by the throat, “You may have succeeded, you got your wish. I swear if she dies, I will end you. I know where the bodies are buried, and I have no problem making you join them!”

Camila laughs, “This is rich, you shoot her, you betray her for me and you think what? You find her and she will open her arms to you? The minute you show your face, Pote will put a bullet in you.”

James turns around heading back to his car “That’s a risk I’m willing to take. I quit!”

James gets back in his car speeding back to his house; he quickly reserves a flight to Chicago and packs a bag. He was on the red eye that takes off in 45 minutes.

~~~~~


	5. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too sure what I want to do with this fic. I have been trying the last 2 days to write it and I know how I want it to end, its just getting to that part is a struggle. I really thought of scrapping this story all together but I like the darkness because eventually there will be light. I woke up earlier than usual so I am going to re-read it and see what i can do. 
> 
> Thank you to all the people reading.

Teresa was somewhere in her conscious, she was walking on a beach in a long flowy summer dress; she was holding the hair out of her face. She turns around smiling as she watches him walk up to her.

“I have missed you.”

He wraps his arms around her pulling her close.

“I love you, Teresa.”

She trails her arms up his shoulder that once had tattoos, to rest behind his neck.

“I love you too, James.”

She goes to kiss him, when all she hears are loud beeping and alarms going off.

“We are losing her! We need more O-Neg! She’s crashing!”

The machine lets out a straight flat line noise.

“She’s flat lining, start CPR!”

Teresa fades back to her dream with James.

“I don't want to lose you; I don't want to go back.” She holds onto him for dear life. Tears falling down her face.

James wipes at her tears, “its okay, you have to go back Teresa. Tony and Pote need you.”

“I miss you so much, “ He wipes at more of the falling tears and he lightly kisses her.

“You have to live Teresa.”

Teresa is shocked out of her dream, she can faintly hear someone say that she is back.

~~~~

Javier and Pote were still sitting in the waiting room, they see a doctor walk out coming towards them, Pote stands quickly.

“She is far from out of the woods yet, she flat lined twice but we got her back, she had so much cocaine in her system that was contributing to that. The next 24 hours is critical. I will be moving her to the ICU soon where you can see her.”

The doctor walks off, leaving the two men standing. “That pinche cabron must have sent him! I knew I should have dealt with him myself.”

Javier sighs, “I don't think it was him.”

Pote turns to him “what are you talking about?”

“I called him.”

“What!”

“I think it was Camila, when I told him about Teresa he sounded genuinely concerned, like he had no idea what happened.”

“What were you thinking, he could be on his way now to finish the job.”

“He won't, I know he still loves her, just as much as she still loves him. She is the only reason he stayed with Camila. I have a feeling we will be seeing him very soon.”

Pote grunts annoyed.

“He is going to be the only one to help her, they need each other. I know he is no saint…”

“He fucking shot her!” he explodes.

Javier nods his head, “I know and if he tries it again, I will personally end him. I have tried getting through to her and she just shuts down. The day she burned their house down she locked up everything she felt for him away, and she was using the coke to keep it locked away. That's why she doesn't sleep! She sees him. I tried letting it go hoping one day the Teresa you knew would show up, but I watched and saw more and more of her slip away every day.”

Pote snorts, “Aren’t you the one that's supposed to be with her?”

“I care about her a lot, but I knew we should have never gotten involved together in the first place, she couldn't love me because she already gave her heart away.”

Pote stands processing everything Javier has told him, he had a suspicion that Teresa could never let go of James. He never saw her that in love, not even with Guero.

“I really hope you are right. If not and he shows up she may put a bullet in us both.”

Javier nods his head, taking a seat.

Pote makes a call to Tony to update him on Teresa’s condition.

~~~~~

 

James boarded his plane, nervous the entire way. He had to get to Teresa, to see her. He didn't care if Pote was waiting for him gun loaded, he needed Teresa. He hoped they would let him explain or at least say goodbye before they executed him. It would be worth it.

He had well over a 5 hour flight to think about it.

~~~~  
Teresa was moved to a private ICU bed, she was monitored every hour. Javier left to go check on Tony and bring him back with him, while Pote stayed on watch.

Pote sat with one of Teresa’s hands in his, he went back to everything Javier told him. It made a lot of sense, he just hoped he was right.

He sat and watched Teresa for what must have been hours, taking in every feature, she looks nothing like what she used to. She never wore colors or jeans for that matter, always in white, always in silk. He missed her smiling face, the way she would crack up over the simplest things. Now she was this cold-hearted woman who made a decision at the snap of a finger. Showing not one ounce of regret. He thought when Javier showed up that maybe he could bring her back, he could tell when they first met that he took a liking to her right away. Helping her with no questions asked. Although with Teresa, she had that effect on everyone. 

Their relationship was strained, gone were the deep conversations and affection, now there were only orders and demands. She was the Queen of the South, but she sold her soul to get to the top. He should have done something sooner, each day he watched as he saw his Queen start to fall, and he couldn't be there to catch her. She didn't want any help.

He knew her coke habit was out of control, he thought at first it was a way to deal with the stress, and then she was using almost a key by herself a month. What Javier told him made a lot of sense, she was using to forget. When he watched her literally burn every last bit of James from her life, he saw the change in her happen the minute she turned around after tossing his lit cigarette, but when you love someone with your whole heart, you never truly forget them. That’s why she always waved him off to going after James, she couldn't bear the thought of him dying. Even after everything he put her through, she still loved him. He knew that was not an easy feat to do. After Guero he thought she would just give up, but she fought. Fought harder than anyone he knew and James was there to bring her back. Could he be the one to do it again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a medical expert, I have just watched a lot of medical shows so any mistakes are mine.


	6. Tough Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing where we left off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who are sticking with me. I promise this will be a Jeresa fic, I'm just unsure if it will be a happy one. 
> 
> Happy QOTS Day!
> 
> Lots of Love, Dee

James’ plane got in around 7 in the morning, he was exhausted to say the least. He walks over to the rental cars and picks up a Jeep. He checks into a motel that was close to the hospital. He slept a couple hours on the plane, now he was too wired to even sleep. He sighed, he didn't know how he was going to get to Teresa. He knew Pote would be at her side and probably Javier too.

He sighs lighting a cigarette, sniffing and running a hand through his hair. He made it to Chicago, now he was unsure how he was going to get to Teresa. To get her to give him a chance to explain everything. He knew he didn't deserve a chance, but if it was all going to end today he wanted her to know the truth, even if he could tell her himself. He finished smoking his cigarette thinking about the last time he was here. It felt like a lifetime ago. In some ways it was. He stares absently at the wall, lost in his thoughts.

He finished his cigarette walking over to his bag, he grabs a change of clothes and heads for the much needed shower.

~~~~~

Javier was sitting next to Teresa while Pote went on a smoke break. The doctor had just been back in to check on Teresa. He said that there was no change. They would continue to monitor her for any changes. If she regains consciousness she would be there for at least a week, if not longer. He had brought Tony up to the hospital when he returned late last night. He saw as the young man dropped his tough exterior and broke down crying over his aunt’s unconscious body. The kid wasn't made out for the life. He watched Teresa rest for hours, taking in at how at peace she looked. He knew the old Teresa was still in there. Buried deep, under all the carnage and bodies. He knew walking away from her when she is awake and better was going to be tough, but he knew it was going to be better in the long run. He would stay on as her partner but their relationship; if you could call it that, would be over.

He could bet all of his money that Valdez was going to show up, if he wasn't on his way already. He thought back to their brief conversation last night. He had a feeling there was a lot more to why he had betrayed Teresa then just shooting her to stop her from killing Camila. He had known James a long time, even before he joined up with Camila. He was just a young punk that just got out of the service, looking to climb the ladder fast. He lucked out when he had taken out that sicario that was coming after Camila. After that, it was all he heard about some no name that barely spoke a word protecting Camila.

Many years later his cousin came to him for his help. He told him how Camila was the one after him, and he had a large bounty on his head. Family was family. He would protect them no matter what. When he heard about his nephew getting killed he vowed to get revenge on Camila. Then late one night over drinks Boaz had mentioned the name Teresa Mendoza. Boaz didn't know much about her, just that Camila was after her as well and part of it was because who was now at Teresa’s side. James fucking Valdez. He did a little research on his own after he left the bar, he couldn't find much on her, just that she was responsible for taking down Epifanio Vargas, and from what a couple of his men from Culiacan told him, she was definitely easy on the eyes.

Their first meeting he was captivated by her, standing her ground. He couldn't help but want to know more about her. She wasn't a boss that sat back and waited, no she got down with the big boys if it's was the bruises she was sporting on her face. He was sent to do a job but it was obvious that she and Valdez were something, and it was even more obvious they were keeping their distance from each other. He did the job he was supposed to, and he was back in Nogales when Boaz had casually mentioned that James had turned his back on Teresa and was now back with Camila. He waited a few weeks and on a mission with the Death Squad, he just couldn't get her out of his head. 

He and Boaz had traveled to Chicago where she was set up and it was like he was meeting someone new. He stayed around temporarily taking up the mantle to be her right hand, telling himself that he was only protecting his investment. But the longer he stayed the deeper he got in. He finally settled in Chicago for good. Boaz tried to warn him, but he didn't listen.

He thought at first when he and Teresa got together it was just fun and games. Then he was the one to fall for her, she was a ruthless as he once was, not taking any crap lying down. She never stayed back when there was a job to do. She rode right along with him. He thought he found his other half. But then he notices the distance she had behind her eyes the longer they were together. She was with him, but she was never _with_ him. He noticed she hardly slept, always to resorting to coke and drugs. He thought that was her way of not dealing with anything and he let it slide for a while, but then about 4 months of being together he saw her slip further down the slope. She used to never let him sleep over but one night she was so exhausted he watched her sleep. He watched her toss and turn in a frenzy and then he heard her mumble _his_ name. He suspected a while that she wasn't over him, but now he knew for sure what haunted her every night. He would end up carrying her out of clubs either too high or too drunk to walk putting her to bed. He was fed up watching her destroy herself. He tried to bring it up to Pote but he just said Teresa knew what she was doing.

So when she got shot last night, and he found out the hit man was from Mexico he called James. The idiot had never changed his number from when he had it the last time. And he went off on him, wanting him to know that he had failed. But when he heard the genuine concern in his voice, the raw shock he knew that it wasn't James that hired the hit. No it was Camila. It was all her doing. Just from the worry in James’ voice he knew he still loved Teresa, that he had made a huge mistake, and that he would never hurt her again. What was the old saying? You always hurt the ones you love most. He knew James wouldn't stay away. He was willing to bet he was probably already in Chicago, and on his way here. He didn't know how Pote was going to react, he protected Teresa like his own daughter, and he wasn't sure how he was going to get Pote to hear James out, and not just execute him right on the spot.

He leans over and rubs Teresa’s cheek, she really needed help. And the only person that could help her was the person that hurt her the most.


	7. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So James and Javier talk, we hear exactly why James did what he did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am all pooped out from last night, read the comments from Stolen Moments lol. 
> 
> I want to make it crystal clear, I am and forever will always be TEAM JERESA, they are so perfect for each other. 
> 
> I am kind of blocked at the moment with this fic, so when I get back I really need to write for this. I only have 2 more chapters ready. 
> 
> This is 100% unbeta-ed so blame MS office if their are any. 
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think, so I know to continue on with this one. 
> 
> All my love, Dee

James was just pulling into the hospital when he heard his phone buzz from the console. He picks up seeing the same number that called him before. Javier.

“Yeah?”

“You on your way to Chicago yet?”

“How’d you know?”

Javier is standing outside smoking a cigarette, “Because you can't stay away.”

James sighs, “I’m here now.”

“Meet me.”

James scoffs, “And meet a bullet from you? I think I will pass.”

Javier sitting on the bench, flicks out his cigarette. “I want to hear you out. If you say you didn't have anything to do with her getting shot, convince me. Then if I believe you, I will talk to Pote about letting you see her.”

James sits in his rental car thinking it over, “What’s the catch?”

“No catch. I’m trying to help her before she self destructs anymore.”

James sighs, “Where do you want to meet?”

Javier stands up from the bench he was resting on, “There’s a Starbucks right down from the hospital, meet me there in 15.”

James disconnects the call, and drives to the Starbucks he passed on his way in. he takes a seat in the back. Sitting with his back against the booth, drinking the coffee he ordered, he sees Javier walk in. He pulls off his shades and spots James in the back. He orders his own coffee and takes a seat in front of James.

“How is she?”

“Still out, under hourly watches.”

“This wasn't me. It was all Camila’s doing, after I got your call, I drove over and confronted Camila. She didn't even try and deny it.”

“After all this, why now? She left Teresa alone for over 6 months, so I ask. Why now?”

“Because of me. She wasn't happy with the job I was doing lately, so she thought the only way to make me snap… To make me return to my old ways, was to kill Teresa.”

Javier take a deep pull from his coffee, “Why should I believe you? It would be pretty easy to blame the boss.”

James jabs at the table, “Because despite my previous actions, I have been protecting her.”

“Funny way of showing it.”

“I never wanted to betray her. You know how conniving Camila can be. When I was driving her to Teresa she kept threatening to have the Fieto Cartel come after Teresa. If she killed her. Camila told me if I helped her escape, I could be her partner, and she would leave Teresa alone as long as I remained with her.”

“Let me guess, she didn't keep her word?”

James shakes his head, “What do you think? I just watched as Teresa was going to shoot Camila and her voice kept playing in my head over and over. You know how brutal the Fieto Cartel is. They are 10X’s worse than the Vargas’ ever were. I tried to get Teresa to let her go, but she was set on it and I had no choice. There was no other way to stop her.”

Javier didn't say anything, he just processed everything James had just said to him. He knew all about the Fieto cartel. He was even contracted by them a few times to take care of some situations.

James looks up at him, “How did you know I was here?”

Javier smirks, “Because when I called you and told you what happened, you couldn't keep the worry out of your voice. You still love her.”

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. 

James takes a sip of the drink, “Aren’t you supposed to be with her now?”

“We may be together, but it's hard for her to love someone else when she is still in love with you.”

James looks up at that, shaking his head “No, she doesn't”

“Trust me, it's not easy admitting your girlfriend is still in love with her ex-boyfriend. Before she got shot she was drowning. Partying too much, using more coke that was considered recreational. Hardly sleeping.”

“Why didn't Pote put a stop to it than?”

“Teresa cut all her emotions off, not just for you but for everyone; Pote included. She didn't talk about anything regarding her feelings, she gave the orders and he carried them out.”

James puts his head down in shame because he had caused all of this. 

“I didn't think she would shut down, I thought she would move on, and forget all about me.”

“She is too much in love with you. You may have broken her, but it's only going to be you to help her.”

“I would help her in a minute, but there is no way Pote is going to let me near her.”

Javier finishes off the remainder of his coffee, “I will work on Pote, he sees how bad off she is.”

He goes to stand up but James stops him, “When can I see her?”

“Give me some time to talk to Pote or at least get him away from the hospital for awhile. I will call you when you can go see her.”

James stands up stretching out his arm, “Thank you Javier.”

Javier shakes James’ hand, “Just don’t make me regret it.”

He walks out of the coffee shop leaving James there to think over things. 

~~~~~

Javier gets back on his bike driving back to the hospital. He walks up to room 305 and sees Pote still sitting vigilant over Teresa. 

He walks in taking a seat on the other side of the hospital bed. 

“Any change?”

“No, doctors came in and said her vitals are good. Where did you go?”

“I went to get a coffee...and meet James.”

Pote looks up at that, “What the hell were you thinking!”

“I wanted to see what he had to say.”

Pote was curious, “And?”

“He had a lot to say, but I don't think it was him.”

“What was his excuse for betraying her in the first place?”

“He let Camila get into his head.”

They don't talk much after that until Javier sighs. “Charger is here. Why don't we go get something to eat.”

Pote shakes his head, “I’m staying.”

“Teresa is fine, the doctors said it could be another couple days before she wakes up. You can't stay here the whole time. I saw a Don Tequila’s about 10 minutes away. Charger will call us if anything changes.”

Pote sighs, “Fine. But you are paying, cabrón.”

“Good, we have to take your truck though.”

They walk out of the hospital room and see Charger sitting in the waiting room. 

Javier walks over to him, “We are leaving for a while, call us if anything changes.”

Charger nods his head in understanding, “Bring me something back please, this cafeteria food is terrible.”

Javier nods his head and he and Pote walk out of the hospital. He quickly sends a text message to James telling him that the coast was clear, he had about an hour, and what room she was in. 

~~~~  
James was still at Starbucks when he heard his phone buzz. 

**Coast is clear, you have an hour. Room 305**

James gets up slipping on his jacket and makes his way to the hospital. He figured since Javier and Pote were out, they wouldn't just let her be alone. He hoped that it was Charger that was on guard and not someone else. 

He made his way into the hospital looking for any guards. He made his way to the third floor and turned the corner when he walked right into Charger at the door. 

“Que Paso, James.”

James nods his head, “Hey.”

He goes to walk around Charger, but he stops him with a hand on his chest. “Sorry buddy, no can do.”

James looks at him, “After all I have done for you. I brought you in, I got you away from Camila! You owe me.”

Charger just lets out a smile, “I’m just messing with you, good to see you.”

He steps aside so James can walk in. He sees Teresa for the first time in over 6 months. She was hooked up to all kinds of machines. She looked so small in the large bed. He makes his way over to her side, pulling a chair closer and he takes a seat. He lightly traces her tattoo and grasps her hand. 

“Teresa, it's me. I’m here. I’m so sorry for everything I put you through. I need you to wake up and look at me! Hit me! Yell at me! Anything! I just need you to wake up.”

He sighs deeply leaning over her, careful of all the wires. He lightly kisses her on the head. 

“I am going to do whatever it takes to make this up to you. I promise.” 

He moves some of her hair out of the way to really look at her. She looked older, like she had aged 5 years instead of 6 months. 

He sits back down holding her hand again, just wanting the close contact he missed. 

James sat for awhile not letting go of her hand, when he started talking to her. “You know I heard that when someone is unconscious they can still hear the other person. Remember when we first got to Phoenix it was a total black out and we watched the storm from the top floor surrounded by candles? How we talked about our dream places to visit. Guadeloupe was what we had in common. Maybe when you wake up, we can go there. I know I have a lot to make up for. I hope you let me explain. I love you so much Teresa.”

James knew he was there for quite a while just watching over her and he felt his phone buzz. 

**On our way back.**

James stands up and kissed Teresa on the head leaning down to whisper in her ear. 

“Happy Birthday Teresa. I love you.”

He walks out of the hospital room and sees Charger. 

“Thank you, Charger.”

“If I was in the same situation, you would do the same for me.”

James claps him on the back and leaves out the back way to the hospital. He gets in his car and drives to his hotel for the day. 

He picks up his phone and sends Javier a quick message. 

**Thank you.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so Camila is the Devil...We knew that already. Hmm James kinda did the same thing for Teresa by joining Devon to protect our girl. Its so obvi that he loves her and she loves him. That kiss goodbye will have me sobbing for days. Until next time, Dee


	8. Face to Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally James gets to see Teresa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the update and ALOT happens lol. I havent gotten much more written on this so updates are most likely going to slow down. Good news this Fic is over half done
> 
> I'm going to keep the rambling to a minimum so no betas all my mistakes
> 
> Love all you from the bottom of my heart, Dee
> 
> Make sure to show me the love back by commenting please. I need the love

Javier and Pote made it back to the hospital over an hour later. Javier was nice enough to bring Charger something to eat while Pote went to go check on Teresa. 

“Muchos Gracias, this cafeteria food is toxic.”

Javier already knew James had been there but he wanted to test Charger.

“Anyone come in to check on Teresa?”

Charger, who had half a taco in his mouth, shakes his head no, with his mouth full, “Nope, all quiet bosses.”

Javier nods his head and walks away, now he was sure Charger was still in contact with James. And he was sure that it was Charger who kept him up to date on things.

He walks back to the hospital room and sees Pote checking on Teresa. 

“The doctor should be in soon to check on her.”

Javier takes a seat on the opposite side. “She looks a little better, finally getting some of her color back. I know we didn't talk about this at lunch but you should really hear James out.”

“I wonder what the bribe of lunch was going to cost me.”

“No bribe, but you know him. He knows he screwed up royally and you also know he isn't going to stay away for long.”

“I don't want to hear him out, that pinche cabrón is dead to me.”

Javier looks at Teresa, “That’s not really up to you. Whether you want to admit it or not…he is going to be the only thing to bring her back, nor would you rather her wake up and goes back to the way things are. How much longer do you think until someone finishes the job that Camila started? How much longer do you think she can go on like this?”

Pote grunts in annoyance but knows what Javier was saying made sense. 

Just then Dr. Palmer walks in and sees the two men. 

“Afternoon, gentlemen. How is our girl doing this evening?” 

He looks at the file to check all the previous vitals, “Oh I see today is her birthday. Well I am here to make sure she celebrates many more after this.”

He pops open each of Teresa’s eyelids checking her eyes. Then he checks the surgery site making sure there is no leaking or infection.

“The site is clear and healing, she got really lucky another two inches to the left and she wouldn't be here. Once she regains consciousness she is going to have to take it extremely easy, and she will need to lay off all the cocaine.”

Javier nods his head in agreement, “We will be making sure she gets the rest she needs. Any idea when she is going to wake up?”

“Her vitals are very good and she is healing at an expert rate, but it's all up to Teresa when she wants to wake up. As an estimate I would say the next few days at most.”

“Can she hear us?”

“She’s not in a coma; she’s just letting her body rest. But yes I believe she can hear you. In fact maybe talking to her will awaken her sooner.”

Pote nods along to what the doctor is telling them, “Thank you doctor Palmer.”

“Of course, I take care of all my patients. I will be back later to do my rounds.”

The doctor takes his exit, leaving Pote and Javier alone again.

Pote sighs, “When I was Niño, my Abuelita was really sick and she ended up in the hospital for a month unconscious. I would visit her almost every day, and one day she woke up and she said it was my voice that helped bring her back.” Pote looks at Teresa, “I feel like I let her down, I am her soldado, I was supposed to protect her.”

“It was my fault; I was too busy arguing with her to notice someone had a gun. She is strong though. One of the strongest I have ever met. She doesn't like to talk about her past. From what I can tell she always had a rough life.”

“She is a survivor. It’s not my place to tell all that she went through. Teresa doesn't trust easy. She was a lot different than she is now.”

“She won’t talk about it but how did she end up in Phoenix with James.”

“After she split from Camila we stayed in Malta. We set up business there, but Camila had found her and sent her sicarios after her, and it was James that saved her. I was badly hurt and out for a few days and when I came to, he was there and Teresa had said that he was with us now. We ran into some issues there. We were doing business with Rocco De La Pena and Teresa found out he was abusing his girls. If you would have known Teresa back then you would know she couldn't let that stand. So we helped the girls escape with King George’s help and we eventually settled into Phoenix because James had the house there.”

“I can't believe she torched that place.”

“She never admitted it but she loved him, probably more than Guero. She was hurting and wanted to destroy every part of him.”

“Were they together when they worked for Camila?”

“No. I don't know what happened when she first got to Dallas because we were on opposite sides. But when we all started working for Camila, she was adamant to having James and Teresa working together. I will admit they were one hell of a team. Guero ended up coming back into the picture for awhile. They survived El Santo and Devon Finch but then Camila set her up to take the fall for a D.E.A bust, so Teresa ran. She was going to just leave the business altogether until James had put a tracker in Tony’s Game and gave up her location. They were close but they weren't together. Then everything went down and I was sure we got rid of Camila and James, but then he showed up in Malta.”

“And then they ended up getting together in Phoenix.” Javier finishes for him. 

“I tried warning her against mixing business and personal but you know Teresa, once she has her mind set on something… you can't change it.”

“She’s stubborn and hardheaded like that.”

Nothing was said after that. Javier decided to head back to the house to check on things. Pote decided to stay like he always did, sending Charger away as well. 

He pulls up to the gates mansion on his bike and walks in to see Tony in the kitchen cooking something. 

“How is my Aunt Teresa?”  
“She’s okay. The doctor came in and said your Aunt should be awake in a couple days. Do you have any homework you need help with?”

Tony was stirring a pot when he turned around to look at him. “Yes but a couple of the guards that have kids helped me.”

“Good having an education is important.” He turns to leave, “I have a phone call I have to make. Don’t worry your Aunt is strong, she will be awake in no time.”

Tony nods his head, “Dinner should be done in about an hour.”

Javier nods his head in agreement and walks off to go to his room. He sits on his bed kicking off his boots and pulls his phone out. He sees the message from James but doesn’t bother replying, he still had to get Pote on board. He sits back calling Boaz. 

“Yo Cuz! What’s up? How is out Princess?”

“She’s good; doctor says she should wake up soon.”

“That’s good.”

“How are things in Nogales?”

“They good, got more men so we will be ready to strike Camila.”

“I’m not sure how we are going to handle that.”

“You think it was her puppet that ordered it?”

Javier knew he was talking about James, “No, I don't.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time he shot her.”

“I really don’t think it was him. Listen I was wondering if you needed some help in Nogales?

“You thinking of coming back for awhile?”

“I was thinking of coming back permanently, things are not really working out here. They haven't been for awhile.”

“Well you know we can always need your help. When are you looking at coming back?”

“Probably a couple weeks. I want to be here when Teresa wakes up and on the road to recovery. Once that’s done, I’ll come back.”

“Well you are always welcome. I got to go, my favorite dancer is up.”

“Talk to you later cuz.”

“You too, keep me updated.”

Boaz disconnects the call and Javier is left to his own thoughts. He hated leaving Teresa but he wasn't lying. Things have always been rocky but they were bad for each other. It was time for him to go back to Mexico. 

He heads for a relaxing shower then goes and joins Tony for dinner. 

~~~~~  
Pote stayed on guard at hospital all night. He was still beating himself up over Teresa getting shot again. He vowed to always protect herm and he let her down. 

“Teresita, you need to wake up. You have to tell me how to deal with the cabrón that’s here. I love you like a daughter, I always have, and I don't know what I would do if I lost you. You are a fighter, a survivor. One of the strongest women I have ever known. So I need you to wake up. We got to get you better. Lil Tony has lost so much family, he can't lose you too.”

He strokes her hand, talking to her about anything and everything. He sees a couple nurses come in late at night checking on Teresa. He stayed on watch the whole night. Occasionally dozing on and off until Javier came and relieved him about 8 in the morning. 

~~~

Teresa was dreaming she was back in Phoenix. Back at the compound. She was sitting around the pool swishing the water back and forth with her feet. She was watching Kelly Anne playfully slapping water at Pote and Charger. She smiled at the scene. She really missed her friend, who she once considered a sister. She watched them slap water back and forth until she felt strong arms wrap around her waist and pick her up jumping in the pool with her. She surfaced from the deep end to see a laughing James. She slaps water at him as he tried dunking her. James grabs a hold of her arms pinning her against the pool wall. 

“You’re so cute when you’re mad.”

He kisses her on the tip of her nose moving down and lightly pecking her on the lips. 

Teresa looks around James and sees that the entire pool is now empty.   
“This isn't real is it?”

He kisses her again on the lips, “No, you’re dreaming.”

“I miss you so much. I miss the play fights in the pool. The intimate shared bottles of champagne. The late night car rides to nowhere. I tried closing my heart after you left, but I’m always going to love you.”

She cries softly and James tenderly wipes them away. “I’m not far, Teresa.”

“I want to stay here with you, forever.”

“I would love that more than anything, but there are people that need you more.”

She sighs against his chest, “I am so sorry that things ended this way.”

“We both have regrets Teresa. Maybe one day you can give me a chance to explain and try and make it up to you.”

“I love you so much.” Teresa cries against his shoulder.

“I will always love you.”

He kisses her one more time and everything disappears around her.

~~~~~~

Javier breezed in around 8 A.M. to let Pote go home and get some sleep. He begrudgingly agreed saying he would be back in a few hours. 

Javier grabs a seat and pops open a book he was reading. He figured since Pote would be gone for a few hours he would text James and tell him he could come up. 

**Coast is clear, if you want to come up for awhile.**

James was sitting on his hotel bed on his third or fourth cigarette already when he felt his phone buzz. 

He grabs his leather jacket, making a quick stop to Starbucks since he didn't sleep well the night before. He had to figure out how to get the rest of his stuff, since he would not be returning to Mexico. 

He stepped into the hospital carrying a tray of coffee. He stopped and saw Charger sitting in his usual place in the waiting room. He handed him one and walks to Teresa’s room and he sees Javier there. He hands him the other coffee before taking a seat across from him. 

“Has the doctor been in yet?”

 

“A little bit earlier. They said she could wake up at any time.”

James looks at Teresa, “She looks better, not so pale.”

“She has a long recovery road ahead of her.”

James nods his head, “Did Pote stay here all night with her?”

“Yeah, he is beating himself up over her really bad.”

“They always have been close. He thinks of Teresa like a daughter.”

Javier nods his head, he changes the subject. “So what are we going to do about Camila?”

James sighs deeply, “I don't know, she is pretty untouchable because of Reynaldo.”

“What if we took them both out?”

“That would take a lot of manpower. Maybe if we can get George to front us the weapons we might stand a chance.”

“We don't have too many dealings with George anymore.” He sees the look on James’ face and explains, “He isn't too happy with the way Teresa has been acting, so he has stayed his distance. He even turned down her birthday invite.”

“He will come around, George loves Teresa, he can't be mad at her forever.”

Javier finishes off his coffee, “I have been working on Pote, trying to get him to hear you out, but that's easier said than done. Can I ask you something?”

James takes a sip of his coffee, “Depends on what it is?”

“How did you know everything that was going on with her?”

“I still have connections.”

“You mean you still have contact with Charger.”  
James nods his head, “Not at first but then he remembered how I got him away from Camila and some other situations. How did you know?”

“He was here yesterday but he lied to me and said there were no visitors. I’m not going to tell Teresa, it was no harm done. Just a friend looking out for another friend.”

Javier stands up he needed to stretch his legs, “I’ll be back, I’m going for a cigarette.”

James nods his head in understanding and sees him leave, so he takes the chair Javier was sitting in. He grabs Teresa hand absently stroking her knuckles. 

“Teresa, I told you I would be back to see you. I’m not leaving you this time. I’m here to stay. I just need you to open those beautiful brown eyes for me.”  
~~~~

Teresa was stuck in an all white room, one part was all white with a light shining at the end of a tunnel the other end was just white and the harder she looked on she saw it was an endless tunnel, she went to go towards the lighted tunnel when she recognized voices. They were faint barely able to make anything out. Instead of walking further through the lighted tunnel she turned and made her way to the voices. She must have been walking for a good 10 minutes through the dimly lit tunnel but the voices were getting clearer. She recognized James as being one of those voices. She smiled and walked faster to find him. 

James was sitting hunched over resting his head against the guardrail, when he heard one angry voice. 

“Pinche cabrón!”

~~~~   
Javier was relaxing on the bench when he got a call from Charger, saying he needed to come back right away, Pote has showed up. 

He disposed of his cigarette making a beeline for Teresa’s room. He got there just as he heard a very angry and pissed off Pote threatening James, and then he heard the distinctive sound of him cocking his gun. 

He ran into the room to see Pote had James up against the wall with his gun pointed right as his head. 

“Pote let him go. I told him to come up.”

Pote takes his eyes off James to glare at Javier. “Why the hell would you do that? He can’t be trusted.”

“Trust me than, I know what I am doing.”

Pote still won't lower the gun. He recognizes that this isn't the first time James has been here. “You let him come up yesterday, didn't you?”

“Yes. Now lower the gun before someone calls security.”

Pote still won't listen until he hears a groggy hoarse voice call out, “James.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwhaha Im so evil ending it there. Until next time.


	9. Stubborn Patients

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yep she is awake, and she isnt the easiest patient. lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loveall you guys that have given this a chance. From the bottom of my heart thank you!!
> 
> Dont have much more of this to write than its time to put it to bed, Its really hard to juggle 3 different stories and to keep them all straight lol. 
> 
> This is short and sweet. Lots of Love, Dee

Pote releases his hold partially on James lowering the gun to turn back to the bed. 

He sees Teresa’s eyes are open and she is alert. 

He releases James and moves quickly to her side, taking her hand, “Oh Teresita, I have been so worried about you.”

Teresa still not really able to talk nods her head. She doesn't take her eyes off James though. Pote hits the nurse button and let's them know that Teresa is awake. 

All three men are quiet as the doctor walks into the room, “Ms. Mendoza I hear you are awake.” He turns to the men in the room, “I need you gentlemen to step out while I examine Ms. Mendoza. Javier is the first one out followed by Pote and James last. They move to the private waiting room where Charger wasn't in site. 

Pote still fuming and turns to Javier, “Start explaining cabrón!”

“I heard him out and I believe him, he didn't have anything to do with this, he knows he screwed up but it's going to take him to bring her back from the edge. Not You or me but him.”

Pote turns to see James standing against one of the walls. He walks over to him and Javier is thankful that there are doctors walking around.

“I should end you right here! But it's not my decision.” he points his thumb in Javier’s direction, “He thinks you can help Teresa, get her back to the way she was.”

James nods his head, “I will try.”

“I know you still care for her that's obvious. But if you ever hurt her in any way ever again. I will end you and she won't be able to stop me. I’m not forgetting you shot her in the first place, but you didn't just hurt her. You hurt all of us with your actions.”

James nods, “I can never apologize enough for that.”

“It’s going to be awhile until she can talk so why don't you go back to your hotel and Javier will call you and we can talk about things.”

James doesn't want to leave now that Teresa is awake and alert, and it was his name she called for, but he didn't want to anger Pote anymore, so he begrudgingly agrees. He walks out of the waiting room leaving the hospital. 

Pote and Javier were still in the waiting room while the doctor evaluates Teresa. “I can't believe you let him in to see her.” He looks around and sees Charger coming back with a coffee, “And you cabrón, why didn't you tell me he was here visiting her?”

Charger goes to speak up but Javier cuts him off, “I told him not to.”

Pote glares at Javier, rady to say something when Doctor Palmer comes out. “Teresa is awake and asking for someone named “James”.”

“He had to go. How is she doing?”

“Considering what she has gone through, she is doing surprisingly well. She’s ready to go home but I want to keep her a couple more days.Then if she is still feeling better then I will consider releasing her.”

“That’s our Teresa, she doesn't let anything keep her down.”

The doctor goes to take his leave. “She needs to take it easy, no stressing her out. I will be back to check on her in a little while.”

Pote nods and he and Javier walk into the room to see Teresa sitting up on the bed drinking some water. 

“Teresita…”

Teresa’s voice was still very scratchy, “I’m okay, Pote. I promise.”

She looks over and sees Javier sit on her bed, “You gave us a scare.”

“I don't really remember what happened.”  
Javier sighs grabbing her hand softly, “We were at the club celebrating your birthday. We were arguing and I failed to see a sicario disguised as a party goer.”

“Who was it? Was if Rafael?”

Pote speaks up, “No, it was someone from Mexico.”

Teresa takes another slow sip, “Camila?”

Javier rubs the back of her hand with his thumb, “Yes. There is a lot that we are going to need to talk about. But the doctor says you need to rest.”

Teresa nods her head, “I saw James, I know he was here.”

Pote mutters under his breath in spanish, “Later, Teresita. You need to rest. The doctor said if you are okay in a couple days he may release you.”

“I want to go home now.”

Javier shakes his head, “No, Buttercup. You need to rest.”

“Is Tony okay? Is her safe? Is he going to school and doing his homework?”

Javier hears her slightly panic and the heart monitor starts beeping. 

Javier put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down, “He’s fine. He is going to school and some of the guys are helping him with his homework. I promise he is safe. He’s at the the house surrounded by guards.”

Teresa still doesn't calm all the way down, “If Camila got to me, she can get to him.”

Pote walks closer and puts his hand on her shoulder to try and reassure her, “Teresita you need to calm down. Tony is perfectly fine. She can't get to him, plus he is becoming a hell of a shooter.”

Javier sits practically preening, “Thanks to me.” 

Teresa smiles at that. A real smile for the first time in over 5 months. 

Javier was still caressing her hand, he was finally seeing the Teresa that enraptured him from the moment her met her. 

Pote sensing they wanted some time to themselves so he said he was going to have a smoke. He kisses her on the side of the head, leaving. 

Teresa sighs, realizing all the damage she has done, “I really have made a mess of things, haven't I?”

“No. You just didn't want to deal with your emotions.”

“Why did he come back?”

Javier sighs knowing she isn't going to let it go, “Because I called him.”

“What? Why?”

Javier gives her a knowing look, “Because I thought he was the one that ordered the hit on you.”

“Well since he is here and I’m still alive I would say he didn't know what Camila was up to. What convinced you he didn't do it.”

Javier sighs softly, “I have been around liars and manipulators all my life, no one could fake the concern he had for you even over the phone.”

Javier exhales, “He still loves you Teresa, and I know deep down you still love him. That's why you can be with me fully.”

Teresa puts her head down in shame. “Javi…”

“It’s okay, we can't help the way we feel. I’m not saying you should forgive him, but you should at least hear him out. Then after you do, either you get the closure you need, or you work on your issues together.”

“What about you?”

He drops her hand gently and cups her face, “I care about you deeply, Teresa. But you owe it to yourself to find out if there is something worth saving. I can't compete with him, you two have too much history together. I knew coming into this that you had changed, and I tried waiting to get you to open up but you couldn’t. You shut everyone out, Pote included. That's not who you are. You were this strong, fierce, and caring woman. Now…”

“I’m just cold and heartless.”

“No, you just locked yourself away, that's what happens when you love someone so much.”

A couple of tears slide down her face, “I thought the coke, booze and drugs would help, and it did for awhile. I just couldn't get over him. I kept seeing him in my dreams. I loved him so much. He hurt me bad, more than anyone has ever done. I mean he literally shot me! And to save Camila. Yet I still love...loved him. How twisted is that?”

Javier wipes a couple of the tears away. “We can't help who we love.”

Teresa nods her head, “I didn't mean to hurt you, Javi. I really thought I could move past it.”

“It’s not your fault, when you love...you love with your whole heart. And you gave your heart to him a long time ago. We aren't meant for each other Teresa, I don't regret being with you though.” He smirks, “Plus we had some pretty good times.”

Teresa nods slowing smiling, “Yes we did.”

Javier looks at her, “It’s good to see you smile.”

“What are you going to do now?”

Javier pulls back slowly, “I am going to help you with the recovery, but in a couple weeks I am going to go back to Nogales.”

Teresa nods her head in understanding, “I hope one day you will find someone to love you like you deserve.”

“I don't know I like the wild life, it's exhilarating.”

Teresa laughs at that, “I am going to miss you.”

“I’ll still be around. Plus we are still partners and someone has to keep my loco cousin in check.”

Teresa laughs at that, “Boaz gotta love him.”

Javier smiles at that, “I hope you hear James out, I talked to him and he has a lot of good points.”

He was here yesterday. Wasn’t he?”

“Yes, I let him come see you.”

“I think I heard him talking to me.”

“Teresa, you have a second chance, it came real close to losing you. Don't waste it. Don’t push people away anymore. Let them help you.”

Teresa sighs thinking of her behavior, “I have a lot to make up for, especially with George and Pote.”

“Pote loves you like his daughter, just buy him a case of the good Tequila and some new cook books and it will be like nothing happened. As for George, just turn that little smile at him, and you will be fine, or you could pull his own gun on him again.”

Teresa laughs softly at that, “That feels like a lifetime ago.”

“Well you have plenty of time to make amends.”

Teresa nods her head, “Can you have someone bring Tony up, I want to see him.”

“I will go get him. I’ll let you and Pote talk.” He stands up from the bed and lightly kisses her on the forehead and walks out to see Pote and Charger talking. He walks over to them.

“She wants me to go get Tony and bring him up to see her. You can go in and talk to her.”

Pote nods his head standing up and walking to Teresa’s room. 

He sees her fidgeting in the ugly hospital gown, “Would you stop or you’re going to pull out the IV.”

Teresa whines “It’s itchy. Can you text Javi to bring me some clothes please?”

Pote gives in, “Fine but you're not signing out A.M.A.”

Teresa playfully pouts, “I feel better. Like I have slept for a month.”

“No, Teresita. The doctor says you have to stay.”

Teresa sighs, “Ugh fine. I miss my old colorful clothes though.” Teresa sighs, “I really have screwed up everything, haven't I?”

“No, Teresita. I’m sorry I didn't see how much you were suffering. I guess deep down I didn't want to admit that you still loved the cabrón.”

“I thought if I could just shove my feelings for him aside I could move on. Be with Javi, but my heart always went back to James. Even after everything he did. 

Pote grunts in annoyance, “I know it's not my place to say…”

“We always agreed to be honest with each other.”

Pote sighs deeply, “I can't just forget what he did, but Javier says that we should hear him out before we make any decisions. That decision has to be yours, and yours alone.”

“I’m sorry Pote for how I treated you. You are one of the most important people in my life. I love you.”

“We have plenty of time to make up for it, you are like a daughter to me Teresita, I will always love you.”

Teresa sighs, “I have a lot of amends I have to do, especially with George.”

“The only thing you need to do right now is rest, and take it easy. Are you up to trying to eat something small?”

“No, just water right now.”

She leans back on the pillows and sees Pote turn the T.V. on, “Just watch some mindless television and don't worry about the other things. There will be plenty of time for that.”

“Teresa goes to get up, “What do you think you are doing?”

“I need my phone, so I can check on orders and stuff.”

Pote grunts annoyed, “Teresita, your phone is at the house. Javier took it back with him. And besides you are supposed to be resting.”

Teresa sits back in a huff, crossing her arms “Fine.”

“You are worse than that time you had the flu in Phoenix. James would wait on you hand and foot at all hours of the night because you refused to go to the hospital. Always a stubborn one.”

Teresa smiles at that, “That was right after we got there. I thought he was going to have an anxiety attack when I was running a 101 degree fever. He always cared for me.” Teresa sighs deeply, “I know I should hate him, and let you or Javi deal with him but I have to admit I’m glad he is here. I know he betrayed me but I’m not that innocent either. I should have talked to him when I came back from Bolivia, instead of distracting him while you searched his room. There are a lot of regrets I have and that's the biggest one. I should have gave him the benefit of the doubt.”

“He still needs to explain himself.”

“I don't know when that should be. I know Javi called him for me and he’s the reason James is here, but I don't think I could take him leaving again, or worse. I haven't been fair to Javi. He is going back to Mexico when I am up and moving around. It would be so much easier to send James away and really try at a real relationship with Javi. But I could never love him as much as I love James. It's not fair to him.”

Pote takes a sip of the water he poured himself, “The heart wants what it wants, Teresita. I would agree with you and be with Javier but you forget I was around you and James for years, even before you got together. He always acted different around you. He always protected you no matter what. And I am willing to bet that he did what he did in someway to protect you again. You have to really look down in the bottom of your soul and decide if you are willing to give him another chance.”

Teresa nods, letting out a light yawn. 

“Now we will figure out what to do with James soon, but I need you to get some rest. Don’t make me call the doctor to give you a sedative, because you are being difficult.”

Teresa nods her head, “Javi is bringing Tony up with him. Will you wake me when they get here?”

“Only if you rest first.”

Teresa concedes and snuggles further into the hospital bed. Pote takes and covers her with a blanket. He sees her breathing has evened out so he walks out to go talk to Charger.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right where we left off. The next few chapters are more filler than anything. This is super short but I wanted to post something for you guys. P.S. Javier is the biggest Jeresa Shipper lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont feel good today, but I wanted to post something. There is only one more chapter written, so updates will be slower. Good things is I will be putting this one to bed. Thanks for all the love, please continue to show it so I know to write more.

Javier took the long way to get back to the house; he wanted to clear his head. He knew he was going to do the hardest thing he ever had to do. He loved Teresa, but he knew her heart would always belong to James. He couldn't stand in the way of that. He knew from what other’s had told him about Guero and how she had to give up everything and go on the run for her life, that he couldn't stand in the way of that. He saw how quick she was recovering so he made the back on decision to speed up his time table. He wanted to leave in a few days, get back on with his life. She had more than enough people in her life to help her along. She was a survivor, and a fighter.

He accelerated his bike faster just enjoying the brisk weather.

He arrived back at the safe house about 20 minutes later and sees Tony working at the dining room table.

“Hey Little T, your Aunts awake and asking for you.”

Tony jumps up quickly, “Really! Is she okay?”

“She’s awake, and alert. Probably giving Uncle Pote a problem. She wants to see you.”

Tony hops up from the table, practically speeding to get his shoes on. Javier goes upstairs to Teresa’s room and walks to her closet. He heads to her closet and grabs a couple of lounge pants she had in her dresser and one of the only non-white shirt, along with some undergarments. He takes and stuffs them in one of her small overnight bags and grabs a pair of black flats, to go along with it. He passes the table in the middle that had the coke box. He picks it up and walks over to the bathroom, flushing it down the toilet. He turns and grabs her toothbrush and hairbrush walking back in to her room packing them in her bag.

He walks out of her room, and heads back down to the foyer seeing Tony anxiously waiting to leave. They walk out and Javier takes one of the black SUV’s that was parked in the garage and heads back to the hospital. Tony is quiet the whole ride there. Javier flips on the radio to have some distraction. He had a lot running through his mind. They pull up to the hospital and Tony is practically sprinting to see Teresa. Javier has to laugh at that. They get to Teresa’s room and he sees Pote sitting in a chair and he puts a lip up to his mouth to be quiet. He looks at Teresa and she is sound asleep. He sighs softly and sets the overnight bag he bought for her down on the chair.

“How long has she been asleep?”

They talk softly, “Not long.”

Javier nods his head, “I brought her some things so when she is discharged she can change.”

Tony takes a seat in the chair next to the hospital bed. He was worried.

Javier picks up on his bouncing knee, “Hey little man she will be fine. Your Aunt is one of the toughest people I know.”

Tony nods his head.

The 3 men left the room to go stretch their legs because they were getting cabin fever. A few hours later Teresa wakes up. She sees Javier sitting on her right in a chair reading a magazine. She smiles softly at that, “Hey.”

He sets the magazine aside, “Hey.”

“Is Tony here?”

Javier nods his head, “Yeah. He’s been here a few hours. He’s worried.”

Teresa nods her head, “He has lost so many people, he’s afraid to lose me too.”

Javier nods to the bag on the bathroom counter, “I brought you some things from home.”

“Thank you.”

He nods, standing up. “I’ll go get Tony. Make sure he isn't harassing anyone.”

“Thanks.”

Javier comes back in a few minutes with a bouncy Tony behind him. He takes his usual seat and sees Tony practically leap to Teresa. He is careful of her IV’s and the wires.

He hears Tony choke up. “Teresa…”

Teresa holds him to her, “Hey...Shh, Mijo I’m okay.”

“I was so worried, I can't lose you Teresa.”

She tries to comfort him, but he completely breaks down.

Teresa sighs; she needs to let him be a kid. He’s not ready for this life. She ends up scooting over to let him sleep on the big bed with her. She ran her hand through his hair and he fell asleep.

Javier decided to leave them be and walks out to talk to Pote, “That’s one strong woman.” He takes a seat next to Pote.

“The strongest I have ever known.”

Javier can't help but nod his head in agreement. “Has she said anything about wanting to meet him?”

“Not really. I think she is more afraid to hear what he has to say.”

“I don't know all their history, but I do know that they still love each other. A love like theirs doesn't die.”

Pote looks at him and realizes something, “You are in love with her.”

Javier is mute, “It doesn't matter, and she can't love me back.”

Pote shakes his head, “You are the most selfless person I have ever met, cabrón.”

Javier laughs at him, “I am far from selfless, I have done so many unspeakable things and maybe this is my way to make up for some of it. I just want her to be happy.”

Pote grunts, but doesn't say anything.

~~~~

Meanwhile James was in his hotel room, he had just gotten back after driving around for an hour or so. Teresa was awake and she had said his name. The quick glimpse he saw made him think of the times when they were together. She looks well rested and relaxed. What he wouldn't do to go back to that time. Before Bolivia, before the betrayal. He will admit he was still hurt that she didn't talk to him when she found the tracker. They should have talked it out, and he should have never let Camila get into his head. They could have been running Phoenix and have been unstoppable. He had to admit having Javier on as protection was a good move. He was almost a better shot than James.

He sits on the bed sighing deeply, he pulled out a cigarette lighting it, waiting to hear his phone buzz. He hated leaving now that Teresa was awake, but he knew if he tried to force his way back into her life, she would shut down and there would be zero chances of her talking to him. He had to sit and wait for her to make the next move.

He sits back and grabs the remote and flips on the TV to drown out his thoughts.


	11. Time for a Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So a lot happens and I dont want to give anything away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for the week. I am trying really hard to finish this one up so I can work on Stolen and Returning. I have so much I want to write for those but I am wanting to close the book on this one. 
> 
> I cant express how much it means to those that read and comment on this. The first couple chapters and even the summary put some people off, but when I started this it was going to be a Jeresa fic no matter what. James knows he screwed up royally but Teresa wasnt that innocent either. Granted she didnt shoot him but she still hurt him about the whole mole and not trusting him. 
> 
> I have no betas, I am flying solo unless someone wants to try and take the task on. I really need someone thats good with punctuation because I am so horrible at it, and MS office never catches those things. 
> 
> I'm hoping to have this finish this weekend and then I can work on the others, I am going to try and write with the 5 hour car ride i am going on. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks again to those who supported this and sticking with me. like the old saying goes there somewhere in the clouds there is a silver lining and this will have one. It will just take someone time to get there. 
> 
> This is a pretty lengthy chapter and the next one is really really important :p
> 
> All my love, Dee

It was two days later when Teresa was released from the hospital. She had promised to take it easy and the doctor was happy with her progress. It was pretty later in the evening when she was finally discharged. 

Pote helped her into the house as Javier carried her bags. He took them upstairs to her room, and came back down as she sat on the couch. He handed her phone to her. He was set to leave tomorrow. Some things had come up and Boaz needed him back sooner. He hadn't told Teresa yet; he didn't want to do it in the hospital, so he waited. 

James had sent him a text message yesterday to see how she was and Javier told him that she would most likely be going home tomorrow. James asked him to keep him updated. So he sat on the couch and sent him a quick message letting him know she was home. Teresa had decided not to reach out to him just yet. She wanted to wait until she got out of the hospital, and figure out what to do with him. Javier knew she still had some hesitations regarding James. But he knew deep down they would end up working out things in the end. 

Pote had made his way into the kitchen where Tony was. He was helping him make slow-cooker shredded Mexican chicken over rice. Javier went and got them a couple glasses of lemonade and came back. He sat next to her and she could tell something was on his mind.

“What’s up?”

Javier sighs, “I know I told you I was going back to Mexico…”

Teresa nods her head, “Yeah in a couple weeks. Right?”

Javier scratches at his beard, “More like tomorrow.”

Teresa looks shocked at that.

“I know I said I would be here to help you recover, but Boaz ran into a few issues with someone trying to take over his territory and needs me to come back sooner.”

Teresa looks down at her hands, “Oh.”

“If you need me for anything, I’m only one phone call away. Besides I will be back with Boaz. I’m not leaving the business.”

“Just me.”

“Teresa you don't need me, you have Tony and Pote that will help you. And James will do anything for you. You have to talk things out with him; don't give up on each other. You both have made mistakes. Granted his were monumental but I think once you talk things out you can move on...together.”

Teresa gets a little upset. “I don't know how to forgive him.”

“Work on baby steps, at least hear him out, then if you don't like it, you can tell him to leave and not come back. I think you need him more than you want to admit. What are you going to do when you get back on your feet and need someone to look over you? You can't take Tony with you. You know as well as I do that kid is not made for this life. You know deep down that James will gladly put his life on the line for you. Pote is good but he’s not as good as James, and as much as it kills me to say this...James is the better shooter.”

Teresa nods her head at everything Javier says. 

“When are you leaving?”

“Early, probably as soon as sun up.”

Teresa nods her head, “I hope we still can be friends.”

“Of course.”

“Thank you Javier, for everything.”

Javier stands up, “I better get my stuff ready. I will be down later to have dinner with you.”

Teresa nods, while flipping her phone around in her hands. Javier takes notice and nods at her, “Call him. He knows you are home. Remember baby steps.”

Teresa nods her head in agreement as she watches Javier walk up the stairs. 

Teresa bites her lip still fidgeting with her phone. She doesn't have the guts to pick up the phone to call James, so she settles for a text instead. She pulls up his contact info she never had the heart to delete, and composes a message.

**It's Teresa. I’m home resting. Would like to meet and talk.**

She was about to set her phone down when it buzzes right away.

**Sure. When?**

Teresa pauses to think of a good location to meet; somewhere they can talk and not have to worry about an audience. She sighs knowing she isn't really supposed to be going anywhere so she texts him her address. 

**Come to my house, 5911 Brookside Lane. 5 P.M.**

She hits send and sits back she gets a response right away. 

**See you then.**

Teresa sets her phone back wondering if she did the right thing. When she woke up in the hospital she knew she had to clean up her act, she had another chance at life, and she had to make some big changes.

Teresa makes her way upstairs to her room, she sees her bag on her bed, and opening it she throws the dirty clothes in the hamper and puts away the rest. She opened her drawer to grab some clothes to change into after her much needed and wanted bath, when she sees one of Javier’s shirts was in her drawer. She pulls it out setting it on her bed. She walks into the bathroom and she turns the bath faucet and waits for the tub to fill. She spots the once filled box of cocaine empty sitting on the counter. She takes and tosses it in the trash. She sits on the edge of the tub waiting for it to fill. She strips completely and climbs into the tub, turning on the jets to help relax her body. Teresa must have spent a good hour in the tub. She gets out drying off, and getting dressed in some lounge pants that she had. 

She walked out of her room, drying her hair when she spots Javier’s shirt on her bed. She sets the towel aside and picks up the shirt; she walks a few doors down and knocks on the closed door. She walks in after Javier tells her to come in. 

She walks in and sees that he has a duffel bag set on his bed filling it with his stuff. 

“Hey I was going through my dresser and found this.”

She hands him the shirt, and he takes it. 

“Thanks. I was wondering where that went.”

“One of the house keepers must have mixed it in with my stuff.”

She looks around and sees that pretty much everything he had was almost packed. 

“You all packed?”

Javier nods, “Yeah just a few more things.”

Teresa nods her head. Just then she hears Pote call her name, he walks in and lets them know dinner was ready.

Teresa follows after him and Javier isn't that far behind. 

They all sit around the dining room table and enjoy a nice quiet meal. 

After dinner they all decide to just have a relaxing night. So they settle down and watch a movie. Teresa had wanted to see The Meg so they decided on that. About an hour into the movie, Javier noticed she was sound asleep. He waited for the movie to finish and he told Pote he would carry her up to bed. 

Javier carefully carried her up careful not to wake her and sets her on her bed and covering her. He spares one more glance at her and quietly closes her door going to his room. He sets his alarm for 6 A.M. and he was out like a light. 

~~~~~

Teresa woke up pretty early the next day, she looked at the time and it was a little after 6. She heard someone already up and she knew it was Javier. She quickly got up to catch him before he leaves. 

She opens her door just as he was about to walk down the stairs. 

“You're leaving already? Where you going to say goodbye at least?”

Javier sighs dropping his bag, he walks over to her. 

“I thought you needed your sleep. And it's not goodbye, I told you I would be back.”

He sighs, cupping her face. 

“You are far too good to me Teresa Mendoza.”

He rests his head on hers, looking into her eyes. “I love you.”

Teresa looks shocked at that, she goes to say something but he cuts her off. 

“I know you don't love me like that, but you deserved to know. I want you to be happy even if it's not with me.” 

Teresa nods her head, she knew even though he said he would be back she had a feeling that this was a permanent goodbye. She reaches up hugging him and lightly kissing him on the lips. 

“You deserve to be happy too Javi.”

He pulls away from her slowly, walking over to pick up his bag. “Take it easy Mendoza.”

He walks down the stairs, and Teresa watches him walk out of her life. She sighs deeply leaning against the railing watching out the window. She sees someone that Javier knew was waiting for him. Most likely to take his stuff while he rode his bike back down to Mexico. 

Teresa wipes away the single tear that falls, she would miss Javier, and she hopes that they didn't hurt each other so much that he just vanishes out of her life for good. She still cared about him. 

Teresa makes her way back to her room and decides to go back to bed for a few hours. 

~~~~~

James laid staring at the ceiling as the clock on the side table said 7 A.M, he was up pretty late last night trying to think of everything he was going to tell Teresa. She wanted to meet today, and she actually had sent him her address so that was something. He knew this was going to be a slow process, but at least she was willing to hear him out. 

James knew one way to make up for some of it was to take out Camila like he should have let her do before. 

He still had some resources in Mexico that would be willing to help. They wanted Camila gone just as much as James did. 

His phone beeps from on the side table. He wonders who it could be this early. He rubs at his face and sees it's a text message from Javier. 

**I left Chicago already, make things right with Teresa. Boaz and I are more than willing to help with Camila. Just reach out.**

James reads his text and wonders why Javier left all of a sudden. He replies with a quick message back. 

**Safe travels and I will let you know when I want to move on her. Thanks for everything.**

James plugs his phone into charge and decides to make his way to the shower. He was too amped up to sleep. 

~~~~

Teresa woke back up to the smell of something delicious. She heard her stomach rumble. Teresa made her way downstairs to see that Tony and Pote were making a huge breakfast. 

“Morning Teresa, I hope you are hungry.”

“I’m starving actually.”

She takes a seat at the table as she watches the men work on the food.

They sit around the large glass top table and have a peaceful breakfast. It was a rare occasion and Teresa knew they needed to have it more often. 

After everyone ate, Tony speaks up.

“Should we have waited for Javier?”

Teresa looks down at her plate a minute, “Javier left back to Mexico this morning.”

Tony looks a little sad so Teresa tried to assure him. 

“Don’t worry mijo, he will be coming back to visit.”

Tony perks up a little at that. He goes to stand up, “I should get ready for my shooting lessons.”

He goes to leave but Teresa stops him, “Tony you don't have to go if you don't want to. You don't have school, so why don't you go be a kid for a while.”

Tony lights up at that, “Can I go play with Hector and Santiago, we want to go try out the new skateboard ramp his parents put in?”

Teresa nods her head, “Just make sure to wear your helmet and protective pads.”

Tony comes around hugging Teresa. “Thank you Auntie Teresa.”

Teresa hugs him back and smiles. “Make sure to be home before dark.”

Tony nods his head and bounces off to go get his stuff.

Pote looks at her. 

“He has had a rough life as it is; he needs to be a kid for as long as he can.”  
Pote nods his head in understanding. “Not that I don't like your change of heart, but what change, Teresita?”

Teresa sighs as she takes a couple of the medications the hospital sent her home with. “I realized how bad I have been treating everyone, and not taking care of myself. I saw how it was taking a toll on everyone. When I was unconscious I remember fading in and out in the operating room, and I realized how close I was to losing my life. I have been given a second chance, and I plan to not waste it.”

Pote smiles a little, “I’m glad you are all right Teresita. I don't know what I would do without you.”

Teresa nods in understanding, “I’m sorry Pote for how I have been treating you. I hope we can get back to how we once were.”

Pote shakes his head, “No apologies needed Teresita. You were hurting from the loss of James. That can happen when you love someone so much. I knew one day things would change. I’m just glad you are home and safe.”

Teresa reached across the table and grabs his hand, and smiles softly at him, “I love you Pote, and I hope you know that.”

“I love you too Teresita and I am always here for you.”

Teresa leaves their hand linked for awhile. 

“So Javier is really gone?”

“Yes, I caught him before he left. He admitted he loved me but he knew I could never love him back.”

“Like the way you love James.” Pote finishes for her. 

“He said he would be back and I hope he will be one day. I consider him my friend. I just hope I didn't hurt him too much.”

Pote shakes his head, “It might take some time but that cabrón will be back.”

Teresa sighs, “I messaged James last night. He will be here around 5.”

Pote doesn't look very happy at that information. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

Teresa taps her fingers against the glass table, “I have to talk to him eventually, it's not like he is leaving anytime soon.”

“So he is coming here?”

Teresa nods her head, “Yes, I couldn't think of any place where we could talk in the open, and I’m still not 100%, so I figured here. If he does try and do something there are still guards.”

“Or I could shoot him and it would solve all our problems.”

Teresa shakes her head at his suggestion. “No. I want to hear him out. If I am really going to move on then I need answers.”

“Move on to what?”

“I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead.”

“Are you going to get back together with the cabrón?”

Teresa sighs heavily running her hand through her hair, “I will always care about him, but I don't know if I’m ready to let him back into my heart. Before he left we still never talked about our problems. My problem with trusting him. I should have gave him the benefit of the doubt and talked to him. I just don't know how to forgive him for betraying me.”

“It’s not the first time he has done it.”

“I know but he had made up for those mistakes in Phoenix.”

“How is he going to make up for this one?”

“I don't know.”

“I don't like it.”

“I know, but I need this.”

Pote has no choice but to agree with her, so he just nods his head.

~~~~

James was climbing the wall with anxiety, he had already smoked half a pack of cigarettes and he was going to need stop and get more at the rate he was going. 

He dreamed about this moment for the longest time, to be able to talk to Teresa and explain himself. He still hadn't figured out everything he was going to say. He would just be 100% completely honest. 

He still had 6 more hours to go, and he didn't think he was going to make it. He decided to go outside and go for a walk to try and clear his head. He ended up walking around for a good 2 hours and finally made his way back to the hotel. He saw there was a complimentary gym, so he went upstairs to change in some shorts and a tank top and spend a couple of hours working out his nerves. It took everything in him not to go to Teresa last night when she texted him her address, but he knew showing up unannounced he would have only been greeted with the end of Pote’s gun. So he patiently waited. Tossing and turning most of the night. 

James had his headphones in and was lost in the up and down clacking motion of the barbells. He almost lost track of time. By the time James finished his playlist he noticed it was a little after 3, he made his way quickly up to his room, and hopped in the shower. 

~~~~

Teresa was still feeling pretty tired so she ended up taking a nap outside in the daybed she had that was hanging from one of the large shade tree. It felt good to have the fresh air and the sun shine on her face as she slept. Pote woke her up a little while later and handed her a sandwich and water. She felt more energized now that she had her little cat nap. Teresa made her way into the house and saw it was close to 3 O’clock. She checked her phone for any messages and saw there weren't any. She decided to head upstairs and takes a bath to help her sore muscles. She didn't think 5 P.M. was going to ever get here. By the time she got out of the tub she saw it was 4:15 so she picked out an outfit, one of the few that actually had some color. She made a note to herself that she was going to have to buy some new clothes. The all white was starting to bother her. 

Teresa grabbed her tablet as she made her way downstairs. She sat in one of the leather chairs with her feet propped up on the table, looking through her tablet. She opened her emails and saw that she got a message from George. 

_Hey Baby Girl I heard what happened. The King will be making his way to you in a couple days. Rest easy. G._

Teresa wrote him a short message back; now that Javier was gone she was going to have to find someone to take over running distro for her. She still had Charger but she wasn't sure if he could handle the large task. She didn't know who else she could bring in to run the business while she was on down time. Right now she could afford to close a couple weeks and then maybe she could run the winery. When she left Phoenix she hated leaving the winery there so she found a smaller one in Chicago and set up shop there. James was right a long time ago...turning product into champagne was a smart idea. The winery had a whole different name but the products were still the same. She sent out a mass message to all the works and told them that they were temporarily going to close for a couple weeks, and then she will let them know when she would reopen it. She also said that they would be paid for their time off. 

Teresa flipped to a couple of her personal shopper websites. She wanted a whole new wardrobe, for a whole new life. She tried keeping her mind off Javier, but she couldn't. She really screwed up with him. She knew she hurt him in the end. She was so lost in the partying that she cut off all her feelings. She knew they never should have gotten involved but at the time Teresa had just wanted to feel...feel anything but heartache. 

She could hear Pote in the kitchen starting on tonight's dinner. He absolutely spoils her. She knew they weren't 100% okay, but she also knew that he was there for her no matter what. He wasn't happy with her decision to bring James here but she really had nowhere else she wanted to meet. She had a feeling this was going to be one long overdue talk. 

Teresa found some really cute outfits that reminded her of her time in Phoenix. She picked out reds, greens, navies, and blacks. Anything but her typical white. She even bought some new lingerie. She wanted to get rid of everything that reminded her of her behavior. The white just reminded her of the cold heartedness. She wanted to live again. She was flipping through the dozens of pages picking out so many new outfits, all for her new life. It was nice to have more money than she knew what to do with. Not like when she was a mule and had to steal clothes from the other girls. Teresa was so engrossed in her online shopping she almost didn't hear the doorbell ring; she looks at the time on her tablet and saw it was 5 on the dot. _He was always so prompt._

Teressa stands up and answers the door. She sees James’ back to her as he was taking in the mansion, probably making sure this wasn't a set up. She smiles softly. 

“Don't worry everyone has been told not to shoot you.”

James turns around and she takes in his appearance. He looked older for only being 6 months, although she couldn't judge she had quite a few age lines on her face as well.

James takes in her while appearance and let’s out a soft “Hi, Teresa.” 

She moves to the side inviting him in. “Hi, James.”  
~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm what are james and Javier up to??? Find out soon


	12. The Much Overdue Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally they talk it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not sure how I wanted this who convo to go, I hope I did good. There is still a lot for them to hash out but this is a start. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for your suppor, it only makes me want to write more. 
> 
> For more notes read Stolen Moments.
> 
> Happy QOTS Renewal Day!!!
> 
> Love, Deidre

They are sitting under the gazebo in her back yard; Pote had brought out a tray of lemonade for them, before sending James a pointed glare his way.

Teresa pours them both a glass and then the uncomfortable silence really kicks in.  
Teresa sighs; she asks something that had been bugging her for awhile.

“How did you know I was in Chicago?”

James thinks over how he should answer that, he knew if he ratted out Charger there could be consequences, but he also promised himself he wouldn't lie to her anymore. 

He sighs, rubbing his hands over his face, “I still had contact with Charger, and he would fill me in on things.”

Teresa nods her head at that, “I figured it was someone in my crew, I just wasn't didn’t know who.”

“He owed me a few favors.” He sees the looks on Teresa’s face, so he goes on to explain himself. “He didn't want to even talk to me, but I kept reminding him of all the times I bailed his ass out.”

Teresa smiles softly, “Relax I'm not going to do anything. There was no harm done. Maybe the old Teresa would have, but he’s safe, I assure you. I have done a lot of things I’m not proud of…”

“We both have.” James says softly.

Teresa nods her head, and lets out a deep sigh, “I don't know how to do this James.”

James wants to reach for her hand, but he decides against it. “There aren't enough words to express how sorry I am Teresa.”

“Why? Why did you betray me for Camila?” Her voice cracks, barely able to get the full question out.

James puts his head down for a minute, “When I was driving Camila to you, she kept trying to get in my head. That if you killed her, Reynaldo would find out. And you know how ruthless the Fieto Cartel is. They would go after anyone related or in associate with you. I blocked out her voice for as long as I could, but she just kept digging. She told me if I helped her escape I could be her partner and she would never bother you again.”

Teresa laughs sarcastically at that, “She really kept her word, didn't she?”

“I was standing next to you in the driveway and I tried getting you to let her go, but you wouldn't listen…”

“So you fucking shot me!” Teresa explodes. She stands up to go walk off but James stands too. So Teresa stops, she watches James make a move. He pulls out his gun from his waistband and before anyone can make a move, he clicks the safety off and slides the gun to her. 

“Take the gun. I don't deserve your forgiveness, and I’m not asking you to.”

Teresa picks the gun up and points it at him, James just stands there. He takes a breath and waits for the impact, but it doesn't come. 

Instead James watches as Teresa clicks the safety back on setting the gun down on the table. 

“Unlike you James, I could never shoot you.”

He watches as a few tears make their way down her face. 

He watches her walk off, and he doesn't go after her. He looks up and sees Pote at the back door, close to pulling out his gun. 

He isn't sure what to do, he doesn't want to chance making his way inside to leave, and he really didn't want to leave. He sits back down sighing heavily. 

He looks out at the yard and sees Teresa swinging on some kind of daybed that was suspended from a tree. She was just rocking back and forth with her arms around herself. He left her alone for a good 20 minutes; he sighed deeply and made his way slowly over to her. 

“I am sorry for how things ended with us Teresa; I only came here so you could hear me out. I won't bother you anymore.”

He turns and starts to leave, when he hears Teresa’s voice. “Not everything was your fault.”

He looks at her, and she stops swinging. 

“If it wasn't for me not trusting you, you would have never let Camila get into your head. So I guess in a way we both were at fault.”

James takes the invitation to sit next to Teresa, and she slowly swings them back and forth. 

“I don't know where to go from here, but I do know I can't imagine my life without you in it.” Teresa confesses. “When I was unconscious in the hospital, it was you that I saw. It was you that brought me back. I tried for so long to hate you. I thought by burning everything in Phoenix I could rid you of my memories, even turning back to cocaine to help me deal, but you were still there.” Teresa takes a deep breath, “I loved you so much, and you hurt me so bad.”

James looks at her with her confession. “You never told me.”

“It took me a long time. I didn't think after Guero I could ever love again. He just left me in Mexico, while he saved his own ass. I had to endure unspeakable things while at the mercy of Epifanio. I didn't think I would trust or love anyone ever again.”

“I…”

Just then Tony comes outside and Teresa quickly stands up from the swing making her way over to Tony. She wraps her arms around him. “Hi mijo. Did you have fun at your friends?”

“So much Aunt Teresa. Can we get a skate ramp put in?”

Teresa laughs at that, “We will see.”

Tony looks around Teresa and he sees James on the swing. “Who’s he?”

Teresa sighs trying to think of the easiest way to answer that. “This is my friend James.”

James looks at her as she says that. 

“Cool.” He looks up at Teresa, “Have you heard from Javi? Has he said when he will be back?”

Teresa runs her hand through his hair, “Sorry chiquito I haven't heard from him.”

Tony nods sadly, “Okay.”

Teresa smiles at him softly, “Why don't you go inside and get cleaned up, and I’m sure Pote could use your help.”

Tony nods his head hugging her tightly, “I love you Aunt Teresa.”

“I love you too.”

Tony holds on for a few more seconds, and then bounces on his heels making his way back inside.

Teresa turns around and looks at James. 

“Tony?”

“Brenda’s son.”

James realizes exactly who he was; he remembered when Teresa first told him about Tony.

“I didn't know he was here.”

Teresa takes a seat next to him, “After the whole Kelly Anne ordeal, I had to get him out of the academy. I didn't want to just stick him in another school. I was having him trained by Pote and Javier, but he’s still a kid. He shouldn't have to grow up without a childhood.”

James nods his head in understanding. “He seems like a nice kid.”

“He is. He loves cooking with Pote. Javier was helping him with his aim.”

The swing back and forth for a few minutes, until James speaks up. 

“Javier messaged me earlier and told me he left. I’m sorry.”

Teresa just shrugs her shoulders at that, “He knew it wasn't going to work out with us, and Boaz needed his help.”

“It's weird to meet the Javier now, compared to the Javier I knew years ago. He was all about drugs, woman, and getting his next thrill.” He gauges Teresa’s reaction to that, “I guess it was all because of you.”

Teresa sighs, not really wanting to talk about Javier. “He was the level headed one between us.”

They sit for a few minutes, just swinging in the breeze. 

James bites his lip, “Did you mean it?”

Teresa looks at him in confusion, and she stops them swinging. “What?”

James nods his head in the direction of the house, “When you told Tony I was your friend?”

Teresa pushes her legs to make the swing start again. “I don't know, James. I don't know if we can go back to the way we were.”

“What if we tried to start over?”

Teresa is quiet unsure what to say, so James continues. 

“I’m not asking you to forget about what I done. But you agree, we should have trusted each other and worked things out.”

Teresa thinks it over, “How would we do that?”

“Start slow, we worked together before anything. I’m not planning on leaving Chicago, so let me work for you again. I’m sure some things have changed and I don't expect you to just let me have the keys to the kingdom, matter of speaking. I will take any job you want to give me. Even if it guarding the grounds or making deliveries. You know I’m still the best with a gun and combat.”

Teresa can't help but nod her head at that, he had a point, and she could use the help. He wasn't going to run the winery but she was willing to give him a chance. 

“Okay, I can use someone to help with deliveries. Since Javier is gone I will be running the winery and I will need Charger’s help. He usually goes on the delivery runs so I will be a man short. We will try it out for a week, and see how that goes.”

James smiles softly, he reaches his hand out, “You won't regret this.”

Teresa flashes back to the first time he told her that on the roof in Malta. “Let’s hope not.” and she shakes his hand. “While I recover I have shut the production down for a couple weeks. In the meantime if you want to stick by Charger, I could use the extra protection here, now that Camila is back on the radar. She could try and strike again.” 

James nods his head, “I promise I won't let her near you again. I won't let her hurt you anymore.”

Teresa shakes her head, “Camila will probably be after you too.” She sighs heavily, “There is a guest house that's separate from the house. Charger and Julio live there, if you want you can stay there. It's safer that way for both of us.”

“Are you sure?”

“Not really but I don't want to see anything happen to you.”

James looks up to see Pote staring out the window; he nods his head towards the hours. “What about Pote?”

“I will handle him.”

“Okay, I will be leaving for a few days. There is something that I need to do first, and then I will be back.”

Teresa nods her head, “Okay, whenever you are ready, you can move into the guest house on the grounds.” She stands up from the swing looking down at James, “Please don't make me regret this James. “

He stands up, due to the height difference he has to look down at her, “I won’t.”

Teresa smiles softly at him and turns to make her way to the house, James follows after her walking side by side. She stops just as they get to the patio, “Pote and Tony are cooking, would you like to stay for dinner?”

As much as James wanted to stay and eat something that didn't come out of a paper bag, he shook his head “no”, “I can’t. I have a plane to catch tomorrow and have to get back to my hotel to pack.”

Teresa nods her head in understanding, and they walk through the kitchen so Teresa can see him out. James opens the door and was about to walk out when he hears Teresa, “Call me when you get back.”

He turns towards her, “I will.”

“Safe travels.”

James looks at her for a minute, “Bye Teresa.”

Teresa smiles softly, “Bye James.”

He steps out and Teresa closes the door, falling back against it and releasing a deep breath she felt like she was holding ever since he got here.  
~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Virtual cookies to anyone that can figure out what James is up to


End file.
